Beaver Fever

3 Nov

Bea-ver: (noun)

 a. A large aquatic rodent of the genus Castor, having thick brown fur, webbed hind feet, a broad flat tail, and sharp incisors adapted for gnawing bark, felling trees, and constructing dams and underwater lodges.

Aw, how cute.

I admit it–the silly little beaver is pretty cute…but my post is actually about a very different kind of “beaver”.  I am talking about one of the most popular (not to mention my favorite) drinks at Ted’s Restaurant and Bar coneveniently located on the University of Connecticut campus.  The Bionic Beaver, as its called, is legendary at UConn.  Served in a 60 oz pitcher for around $10, it is the go-to drink for birthdays, holidays, post-exam celebrations or even a casual afternoon happy hour. 

Tinkerbells drink a Beaver.

I drink a beaver....alone.

Even penguins drink a Beaver.

But even after four years of genuine friendship, fond memories, and pure humiliation, the Beaver still remains a mystery to me. 

What exactly am I drinking!?

So on this lovely afternoon, I set out, with the help of my trusty sidekicks Lauren and Christina, to discover the truth about what lies beneath the surface of my glorious red pitcher of Beaver! Check out the slideshow to see the shocking results!

 

 BREAKDOWN OF A BIONIC BEAVER

1 60 oz Pitcher of Ice (approx 50 oz liquid)

25 oz Miller High Life : 300 cal

1.5 oz Vodka : 96 cal

1.5 oz Gin : 96 cal

1.5 oz Rum : 96 cal

1.5 oz Triple Sec : 150 cal

4 oz Sour Mix : 124 cal

4 oz Grenadine : 304 cal

2 oz Cranberry Juice : 35 cal

2 oz Sprite : 24 cal                                                                                                              

CALORIES : 1,225 cal

16 oz cup of Beaver = 306 calories

 *Each pitcher pours about four 16 oz cups (including ice)*

  CALORIE COMPARISONS

  1 Beaver = 11.2 Coors Light (12 oz)

1 Beaver=7.16 Blue Moon (12 oz)

1 Beaver=5 Applebees Perfect Margaritas

1 Beaver=4 1/2 slices Domino’s Cheese Pizza

1 Beaver=36.8 pieces of California Roll sushi

1 Beaver=360 M&Ms

 

On that note, I’m going for a run…….please don’t send me hatemail.

 

 

 

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5 Responses to “Beaver Fever”

  1. John November 4, 2010 at 1:19 am #

    Yo can I get the number of that penguin, she looks hot.

    • Kristin Kolat November 4, 2010 at 4:19 pm #

      hahahahahahaha she is one sexyyyyy bitch

  2. Kristin Kolat November 4, 2010 at 4:20 pm #

    good thing i think beavers are disgusting but your gunna get HATEDDDD on for this haha but I think its hysterical
    im just warning you if you ever post the calories in 1 lb of honey bbq wings I will kill you and your future first born!

  3. Rick Hancock November 4, 2010 at 6:22 pm #

    I think YouTube killed your song!

    • bousquet89 November 4, 2010 at 6:25 pm #

      ughh thats almost as depressing as my post….

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