Hasselhoff Solution to Drunk Eating

26 Oct

So I decided to sleep on the ‘drunkorexia’ debate from my last entry and see how I felt about it in the morning.  Usually I do my best thinking during a long workout, but even after an hour gym session I am still wavering on both sides of the issue. 

However, I did come to a concrete conlusion; my biggest health worry before a night of drinking isn’t necessarily the alcohol calories, but the calories in the dreaded, late-night DRUNK MUNCHIES!

(818): I woke up with a frozen burrito in hand this morning… No more $2 pitchers
(818)The burrito was still frozen but half eaten
(630): You put a nerf gun to my head and demanded to be brought to Taco Bell..
(425): You wanted to speak to the manager about why a “bag of cheeseburgers” wasn’t an option on the menu.


 It never fails to amaze me how I can spend an entire night at a bar making healthy drinking choices but I can’t seem to turn down a slice of pizza or chicken wing once my drinking ceases. 

Drunk eating leads to unhealthy choices, unnecessary calories, embarassing facebook photos and the inevitable guilt the next day.  I would even go as far as saying its dangerous (I recently set off the smoke alarm when I tried to stirfry uncooked pasta )–maybe Julia Child was a successful drunk chef, but most people are not!

So why exactly do we drunk eat?  There is actually a scientific explanation behind this disturbingly enjoyable behavior!  The increase in carbohydrates and sugars from alcohol spikes your blood sugar when you drink, causing your body to release insulin to lower your blood sugar levels.  Consequently, this triggers your hunger receptors within the body as a means of bringing your blood sugar levels back to their normal state.  Wow, fuck you biology.

Is there any way to stop drunk eating?  Here are a few ideas:

  • Eat before drinking so you aren’t as hungry or as drunk.
  • Leave a little note (or large bolt lock) on your fridge
  • Visualize the guilty/sick-to-your stomach feeling you will experience the next morning

If that fails, watching this video of sad, sad David Hasselhoff should be reason enough to keep you from EVER drunk eating again!


One Response to “Hasselhoff Solution to Drunk Eating”

  1. ricksrss October 26, 2010 at 6:39 pm #

    Good stuff. BTW, now that you are 21 you can get arrested for cutting my class!

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