Living La Vida LOKO

12 Oct

Ok, so maybe Amy Poehler’s “cool mom” impression is a little extreme, but I’m not afraid to admit I love keeping up to date with the latest gossip and trends.  And lately, it seems like EVERYONE is only talking about one thing; FOUR LOKO

Over the past weekend, I heard more rumors, controversy, and outrageous stories about this new alcoholic energy drink than I can even count. 

“It’s liquid cocaine”; “It’s illegal in almost every state”; “Drinking one can can kill you right on the spot”

It even has a twitter (unofficial), facebook fan page, and several music videos (if you get a free second, check out some of the lyrics…I have never laughed so hard).

Put it this way, Four Loko is the Lady Gaga of the liquor world.

Nothing stirs up more controversy than a dress made out of meat….

So here’s a look at the good, the bad and the ugly of  Four Loko…..

THE GOOD:  Four Loko is both affordable, tasty and effective in getting you drunk!  It only costs about $3.00 a can and is available in eleven flavors: Watermelon, Orange, Lemonade, Cranberry Lemonade, Grape, Fruit Punch, Vanilla, Blue Raspberry, Raspberry, Apple, and Cotton Candy.  Four Loko also has the same alcohol content of 6 beers (12%) but thanks to these yummy flavors it is much easier to consume.  Essentially, it is a dream come true for any broke college student.  

THE BAD:  There might not be any nutrition facts on the shiny 23.5-ounce aluminum can but don’t let that fool you!  Four Lokos is chock full of calories and other bad-for-you ingredients.  Just one can has 660 calories and 60 grams of sugar.  To put it in perspective, that’s more calories than a Big Mac and the sugar equivalent of 12 Chips Ahoy cookies!

THE UGLY:  The health risks associated with Four Loko could potentially be more serious than just packing on a few lbs.  The drink’s four main ingredients (FOUR Loko..get it?) are caffeine, taurine, guarana and alcohol.  According to a study by the Marin Institute, this combination is particularly dangerous because the caffeine produces stimulating effects, such as increased heart rate and alertness, but masks the feeling of intoxication.  This leads drinkers to consumer more alcohol than they normally would over a short period of time.  

Several hospitals have reported an increase in emergency room visits related to alcoholic energy drinks and state attorneys are currently urging the FDA to ban the sale of these products. 

If that wasn’t enough of a reason not to drink them, here are some real-life horror stories and words of ‘wisdom’ I have gathered from my close friends and fellow drinking buddies’ experiences with Four Loko:

“I drank one Four Loko and next thing I know it’s 4 am  and I’m in a sleeping bag with none of my belongings “

“I’m not drunk, but I just drank 2 Four Loko…that’s like 8 Loko right?”

“Have you ever seen Man v. Food?  Drinking a Four Loko is like Man v. Booze….but man never wins.”

Now that will teach my friends to always ask beforehand if our conversations are “off the record“!






One Response to “Living La Vida LOKO”

  1. brandon swarthout November 18, 2010 at 8:23 am #

    I heard they’re coming out with FIVE Loko!!! This cartoon I’ve made explains the FOUR LOKO CONSPIRACY…

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